Shane and I have been married for 33 years, 7 months, and 3 weeks.
We are opposites in many ways. We tend to see things differently, and we have varying communication styles. One of our challenges is in the area of time.
I attribute our timing differences to our parents. Shane’s mother is usually at least 30 minutes late to every where; my Dad likes to be 15 minutes early. Growing up, I always thought my family wasted a lot of time waiting for things to begin; Shane and his mother missed half of every thing they attended by their lateness.
In all of these years, Shane and I have worked out some of the kinks in the way we approach timing. Though we still speak a different language when we refer to time, I have learned to translate Shane’s language, which has saved us from some of our frustration.
Example 1:
Shane says: “I’ll call you right back.”
What I hear: “I’ll call back within the next 10 minutes.”
What Shane really means: “I’ll call you back within the next 8 hours.”
Example 2:
Shane says: “I’m ready to go.”
What I hear: “I’m ready to walk out the door.”
What Shane really means: “Give me 5 more minutes.”
Example 3:
Shane says: “It will take no time at all.”
What I hear: “IT WILL TAKE NO TIME AT ALL.”
What Shane really means: “It will take about 15 minutes, give or take a few.”
Example 4:
Shane says: “It will take X amount of time.”
What I hear: “It will take (whatever X is) amount of time.”
What Shane really means: “Take X, multiply it by 3, and hopefully, this is how much time it will take.”
Though we have made peace with our differences, I don’t expect we will ever operate in the same time-zone. But one thing is certain, I have become bi-lingual in the language of time.